Bible study in my humble abode

It's been 6 years since a bible study has been conducted in my place. It's the first in my not so new place whom I've moved in 6yrs ago. it's funny but i do remembered that when we moved to our current place, i told my hubby that we shd go to church more often rather than just the sabbath services and also BS groups...6 years on and now we are only starting to see the zeal for God slowly creeping back into our lives...

It's such a wonderful feeling. i feel God's presence when we prayed and discussed the bible and ponder upon the teaching Christ has for us as we all gathered together on a common ground, not only for knowledge but also for communion with each other.

When I first decided to rejoin BS, I remembered the anxiety my hubby has. I think for both of us, whom i don't think are considered the fervent kinds, he's worried of making a fool of himself if he's asked to attempt questions. My 'motives' are purely that to get to know fellow brethren better aka 'networking'. I mean, if i can go to a working function striking up conversations with complete strangers, sure i can do better with people i see at church but normally, don't know them and embarrassingly, know them but don't know their names.

we attended our first BS on 1st july and i must say that we have since benefit tremendously from such study groups. i remembered when i first left my old job, one of the main reasons is to have more time for God. one of the things i wished i had done more is to attend more church services and outings and of course BS groups. i remembered in one of my prayers i asked God how i can serve Him. And I asked Him to bless me with church sisters whom i can turn to. for someone like me who is not born-ed in the church, i always struggled to try and fit in. and sometimes, i wish i can have some best friends and i don't know why but it's so difficult to strike a common ground.

maybe it's part me and part true, but the close knitted relationship from a small congregation like ours, i think there are rooms for improvement in helping people who become members fit better. maybe something like an outreach group. anyways, from my prayers and God answering my prayers, i finally understood what it means in James 4:3. so often when we pray, it is in worldly context and we do not get what we prayed for because it is not what God wants us to pray. For me, my often failing has been for God to vindicate me when i meet with obstacles in work, blah blah blah...so mundane, so small but to me, it seems so important. But I am thankful that at least now, i know God's glory and His blessings and love are so abundantly rich if only we knew what are the right things to ask of him.

have i grown in my knowledge of Him? Boldly, i say I do! and I hope to know more and have a closer walk and relationship with my dear Heavenly Father.

language seasoning commonly used by people in these days

i'm on my 2nd week in my new work place and given such high education level among locals as well as foreigners, i am really surprised at the lack of vocabulary still...

my point is that vulgarity is so commonly used that some days i go home with a 'ringing' tone in my ears after all the verbal abuse*eyes roll*

they are not directed at me as per se but rather people's langauge are peppered with 'f#%@' and the likes. I cringe everytime these words are uttered. Do we really need to season our sentences with these words? I think not. And the sad fact is that so many people spent so much money on education and all they are good and creative at using are different variations of 'f#%@', it's sad...

this is tentamount to the Bible's prediction of the end times...

Sometimes I wish we are still living in the times of the Jane Austen novels. Everyone is so civil and polite with such expansive vocabulary and that to me is absolutely fasinating

Are Christians meant to be doormats in this cruel world?

Finally, the weekend is here. As I write, Sabbath is already over and I can't help but feel a little sad and apprehensive as Monday draws closer, which means I am into my 2nd week at my new job.

This week has been eventful. Starting a new job, my dad getting his op, a dear church brother getting married on Nat Day's Eve(which coincidentally, is my 13th wedding anniversary) and lastly, REU outing in Jurong Bird Park, where the family had fun and importantly, communion with fellow brethens. I truly enjoy it. Getting to know fellow church members and their family. You get to see another side of them, the fun side.

I started my fasting prayer after dinner last night. My new job doesn't bode well. What I thought I was hired to do has now changed quite drastically, and I am very displeased about the arrangements. Again, I draw comfort from the words of Paul the disciple in the book of Phil 4. Rejoice always, Paul advises. Somehow, I need to keep reminding myself that my dear beloved heavenly Father surely has His reasons and plans why I am put in this place.

It's funny how jubilation at the onset of a new job can now suddenly turned into such a turmoil. I always have this question in my mind. Are christians meant to be stepped all over and be doormats to unbelieving gentiles? Just because we are to emulate all the good characteristics of Jesus Christ, does it make it right for us to be bullied? Is it wrong to assert our rights and speak our mind and refuse what are wrong and down right blatant exploitation? I'm confused sometimes....

I find it hard to know when is the right time to take it lying down knowing that God will revenge me and when it's right to stand up and just give it back to people who are out to bully you...does other christians share similar grievances as I do?

I started my fasting prayer after dinner last night and well into this afternoon. I wanted to draw close to God and His blessings and words of wisdom when I speak my mind to my new boss on Mon. It's likely I may lose my job but I have to stop doubting and start believing that God is with me. It's timely that today during sermon, Pr Chin AQ spoke about what Jesus said in Luke 8:50 - Do not be afraid; only believe..

I shall not cower in worry nor fear. I will be bold in His name

My dad has been discharged from the hospital today

Thank you all for your incessant prayers! My dad has finally been discharged from the hospital. THis is the best wedding anniversary gift from God as incidentally today is my 13th wedding anniversary.

I ask that you continue to keep my dad in prayers. It is my hope that he will come to know and accept the Lord soon.

Shalom!

rojak mix of good and bad happenings

2nd day at work. Remind me again why I am working in the corporate? Ah yes. Money...the root of all evil.

&#^$#$ I am still feeling a lot of detachment from working vs being a homemaker. To make it worst, my hard disk crashed and all my work from the past 5 years gathered in my previous company is completely wasted. The devil is out to get me. I am sure of it.

I wanna cry when this happens in the morning. I kept praying. I asked God for a miracle. I told God that since you can save my children a few weeks back, you can save me too and this is a matter of life and death! I know I am silly. GOd didn't save my hard disk. It's officially DEAD.

But there is always a ray of light even when the clouds are so dark. Thank God I still have friends in my ex company who have very kindly agreed to help me extract info again. Am I commiting a white collar crime? I think so but then again, those works do belong to me. I created them. So it's a thin line, really. I don't know if God will punish me for this. Somehow I have a feeling He will not because, I think He gave me this solution.

Things are looking a bit up in my new work. My hostile ex colleague/friend spoke to me(finally!) and I have a meeting to go tomorrow. I have never been so happy to go for a meeting! That's only because I hated tweedling my thumbs more. I wanna deliver an honest day's work to God and be accountable to my fellow colleagues and I cannot comprehend how people can skive their whole life taking their salary, not delivering work and do not feel a tinge of embarrasement and guilt. I can't. And I am pleased with myself because I think this makes me a better person and also importantly, delivering what God expects me to.

And finally, the best thing that has happen is my dad is recovering well! I told him to praise the Lord! He must by now acknowledges that God has shown His grace and mercy. How can he not be touched? I am. I know it is God's works. Just last nite I prayed for God to take away my worries. It is too much to take. I ask Him to love me. Sayang me. Help me. Strengthen me. And He has. I love you, God!! Thank you. Even with the corrupted hard disk, you have helped me thru today. Glory to Your name!

Official bad day at work

ok. it's official. i started my new job today and it's worst than what I have expected! Coupled that with my dad's op tomorrow, I am amazed at my strength to cast all these aside and still pass thru the day relatively unscathed.

I know where my strength comes from. It is not because I am a super hero but because I have God. His grace gives me strength. My prayers help to sustain me and the angels He sent me reminds me that He is always with me.

THe angels I am talking about are fellow brethens in Christ who encourages me thru email, or sms or even phone calls and IM. But their words of encouragement are always so timely delivered to me. Of course this is no coincidence but God's perfect timing. ALWAYS. He never fails. I am really amazed by God's capacity to love. I mean, all of us with sins and trespasses but time and again, He just forgives us, and well, sayang us like our human fathers but more.

It is time like these that I think yet again He has put me thru a refinery to refine me and I have became a better vessel.

I don't want to worry about tomorrow. I'm sure 明天会更好。Even if it's not, I should do like the cantonese saying goes - 天塌下来当被盖


There's nothing to fear for I have God.

Laura's family photos and albums on webshots

ChuaLaura's photos and albums on webshots

The most under-rated job in the world

I loved and am absolutely happiest just being a mom. I also think that being a mom is the most under-rated job in the whole wide world.

I miss it all the more now that I am not a fulltime mom anymore. Why should any moms be deprived of being the most basic fundamental for her children??! It's a crime, really. The government ought to be shot for making Singapore such an expensive place to live in with all those crazy working hours and literally zero moms benefits & welfare.

What do they take women for at the 21st century? Pigs who gives birth and yet able to contribute to the societypenny wise?? aarghhhh

I MISS my children!! :'(

New job jitteries

Night falls...last evening when I am a blissful homemaker.

Tomorrow, I start my new job and I am all jitters. After all, I have been with my previous company for 5 years. I had friends, I always know what to do and the environment has been so comforting.

With my dad's 2nd op pending for Tue, I am all the more unsettled. But I am sure that God has seen it coming all along and blessed me with this new job so that the finances part will not be a burden. Thank you Lord! You are so good to me when I am so undeserving of Your love.

I don't think I will be able to sleep well tonight. As it is, I have already started to have work related dreams since early part of this week. I dreamt about my ex clients, colleagues, rushing for meetings...GOSH! It's like I am possessed or something...

I worry if I will have any work to do or too much to do. Who's gonna be my lunch kakis, where am I gonna sit..how's my new boss gonna treat me...so much to think about! But actually, I shouldn't worry at all. For if God leads me to this, He will surely bring me thru it.

Amen!

No bypass needed for my dad!

Thank God for this!!

I am so relieved to know that a bypass is not necessary for my dad. If it is, this would have been the 3rd bypass for my dad. And truth be told, I wouldn't know how to handle it with a bypass and a new job all happening at the same time.

Now all he needs is a pacemaker to regulate this heartbeat. And boy! The pacemaker doesn't come cheap at all. Thankfully, I have been blessed by a job to be able to afford it for him. Sometimes, my dad just make me so angry for abusing his body.

His smoking, eating habits, mixing with all those undesirable friends of his irks me to no end.

But what can I do except to continue with my prayers in the hope that he will be moved by the Holy Spirit and one day tells me he wants to be saved too. I can only pray for him. Everynight, as I do my concluding prayers for the day, I asked God to let my dad be part of His fold...I hope it will come through. But for now, only God knows.

Stolen time

I know God is with me. I am truly aware of His presence as I passed my day in anxiety in the hospital esp. waiting to speak with the doctor following the unsuccesful heart procedure my dad went thru yesterday.

Just late last night, I was in a dilema over whether I should postpone my new job start date. I know I will not have any peace if I am to proceed to start today. Somehow, I got a feeling that I wouldn't start as originally committed. Uncanny feeling..I always have this with me. Maybe it's a hidden gift, I don't know. One part is to be with my dad and another part is for my selfish reasons - to steal time for my children.

Thankfully, my new boss is gracious and kind enough to allow me this request. I am truly touched. She doesn't really know me. She's not obligated to show me this kindness...or she doesn't even have to believe what I told her.

Now I've got 4more days with my dad and my children...I will cherish every moment...