fear keeping my distance away from my heavenly father

I am still having the knawing feeling that I have yet to receive my appt letter.

I know I should have faith in God but my human fraility is causing me sleepless nights. The worst part is that I kept asking my husband the what if I have no job scenario.

Thank God he has more faith than me and he always assures me not to worry. At worst, he will have to support me and family. But just the thought of it makes me feel extremely bad. Raising two kid in singapore and on top of that, both pair of parents is soooo tough in Singapore.

I am thinking of another fasting prayer to get me through this. I need to feel more of God's presence, mediatate on His words. Last night, I prayed for many of GOd's blessings of me in my new job. Clients' favor, my new boss and colleagues favor, be a blessing to them, be able to come home on time and most importantly, never cease to worship God and forget Him in the midst of my busyness. I have to keep reminding myself my job is only a means of financially supporting myself and is to be used as a tool to help the church. Which brings me to my vow of pledging 50% of my first month salary to the church. What I have are blessed by God, without Him, I am nothing.

I will now go pray for God to take away my fear of not having the job confirm. If it is so, then surely God has something better in store for me.

All glory be to God.