Today I felt that the devil has won cos my dad didn't turn up for church service at the last minute. I think the word dejection aptly decribes how I feel. I feel that I have lost out to the devil this time and good did not prevail.
I can't help but also wonder is it because I haven't been as steadfast in my fasting prayers as God will like me to be and I totally blame myself for it.
My fast lasted till Fri and I couldn't hold on till today and my fasting was broken. I thought this wouldn't matter but now that my dad changed his mind last minute, I am convinced that it is partly due to me.
Of course, I know God chooses His people as well and if in the end, my dad's not one of His chosen people, I can take comfort in that at least I did my part.
For the past week that I have been praying, it is my hope that my dad will be moved by the Holy Spirit when the church congregation is praying just like the way I was 15 years ago when I attended my first service in TJC Adam.
Till this day, I can still vividly recollected how the church congregation sounds like, which is like huge waves, during its concluding prayers.
The feeling was the strangest. I was feeling at once disturbed and entralled by it.
I am not giving up the fight. I will continue to pray and fast for my dad in that he will find salvation first before his 1st Aug operation.
Amen!
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